Saturday, July 21, 2007

Lonely, Preoccupied

So, I'm finishing up week one of solitary, with only about one more to go. Christine and the kids are still in North Carolina, while I float around here in Austin, jobless but interviewing like mad, and keeping pretty darn busy for a guy without a darn job. Once again, Tang Soo Do has come to the rescue, giving me a solid community to fall back on for companionship and activity that doesn't involve sitting in a bar somewhere with anyone else with nothing to do. Definitely an enormous improvement over the ways I used to fill up my spare time.

Still, it's tough. I don't like coming home to an empty house, or waking up late every day simply because there's no one to get me up and no reason to drag myself out of bed at the crack of 7:00. So, instead, I tend to sort of muddle away the mornings, sipping coffee and peering into my computer for a couple of hours, before I get my butt in gear. My energy levels are, as a result, kind of low. I'm just sort of displaced. I can't wait until they get home.

A big part of my being able to get through this, though, has been all the energy I've been putting into interviewing, which is obviously a good thing. One of the three prospects I'm pursuing looks fascinating and challenging, an enticing opportunity to work with a group of fantastic people (9 of whom I've interviewed with so far). But simply put, all the interviewing is wearing me out. I'm new to this sort of interviewing, having been cherry picked and "pulled" to all of my previous positions since graduating from college. The process of going in and going through the more grueling professional-level position interviews has been a real test of my nerves.

Of course, from the look of it, if I don't get this position I'll have no one to blame but myself. I've solidly messed up at least once, sending a few links to very substandard docs as examples of my work. In my rush to show the range of the types of docs I've done over the last 7 years I included some very quickly written support docs I put together just a couple of months ago. Unfortunately, they were never really adequately edited or reviewed, and they were written during what can only be described as stressful work conditions ("Hey, where'd everyone go?" "Am I going to have a job next week?" etc.). Sloppy, with typos and some obvious organizational problems. And considering I'm a writer these things stick out like a sore thumb.

No excuses, still -- my work, my mistakes -- but I should have been more careful about the sorts of stuff I sent over and limited it to my "premium" pieces in my portfolio. Incredibly stupid, and I've been trying to explain and demonstrate that these are not even remotely typical examples of my work ever since. So freakin' dumb, and such an amateurish error on my part. I'm certain that, if I don't get this job, this will be the reason and it will be entirely my own fault.

Well, I think I've done everything I can to settle those concerns -- I sent a selection of far better work, and I think they were pleased. And I think that aside from that foible my interviews have been solid, if occasionally nervous. This whole process is so new to me that I was initially really overwhelmed, and I'm sure it showed. On the second round of interviews though I think I was way more solid and comfortable.


I need to wait up to one more week to find out where I stand. I'm going to go nuts. I do have two interviews lined up for other, less interesting opportunities, and will be heading down to New Braunfels on Tuesday to spend the day with some TSD friends at Schlitterbahn, but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't just accept that this will haunt me throughout the week.

Anyhow, fingers crossed. Time to run to Saturday morning family class for a 45-minute workout.

Mood: Kinda melancholy
Now Playing: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, "Hairspray"

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