Tired today, but otherwise doing OK. Had one of those crappy nights where I wake up at 2:30, heart going a bit faster than normal, agitated and worked up for no apparent reason, but wide awake, head going 1000 miles an hour. And it took me two hours to get back to sleep, after which I had to get up at 6:25 anyhow. Ugh. Not sure why this happens to me, sometimes, but I think it's at least a little bit of delayed reaction to stresses in my days -- I'm pretty good at not stressing out all the time, but I think I sometimes bottle stuff up and this is how it comes out. Meh.
Since Sue's death last week I've kind of been at a loss for words, blogging-wise. Life goes on, and once the shock of Sue's death passed it was time to get on with getting on. Wrapped up the work on the kids' advanced study projects, including a movie Miranda and I made of a fictional cryptozoology investigation titled "Bigfoot ... in My Backyard?" starring the entire family. If I get ambitious I'll upload and link it in sometime soon -- it was a blast, and needless to say I couldn't stop tinkering with it, so it's got music (selections from Peter Gabriel's "Birdy" soundtrack) and sound effects, and title cards and transitions and everything. Miranda really did a ton of work, but I applied a fairly heavy layer of polish. Fun time -- I'll have to encourage the kids to come up with video ideas this summer as weekend family projects.
The biggest shock, however, was that once Miranda did her presentation on Friday, we suddenly ... had very little we needed to do. For the first weekend in nearly 3 months, we weren't loaded down with dozens of things that had to be accomplished ASAP. Our only important event the entire weekend was my nephew's birthday. We did family class Saturday morning (well, I did -- the kids did a kid's class before the family class, and Christine was feeling under the weather, so it wound up just being a few of us adults instead of the usual mix of ages and ranks), Sean's birthday Saturday afternoon, and ... not much else. Slept in on Sunday, went and looked at parakeets (ugh) later in the morning, Miranda and I went to the dojang to practice our forms for a couple of hours Sunday afternoon, shopped for groceries, and that was it.
Wow, it was nice. I almost forgot what it's like to putter around the house with no real goals for a day or two.
Of course, this week and weekend will be the polar opposite. Miranda and I are participating in a Tang Soo Do tournament (The Tang Soo Do Texas Classic, Master Riley's tournament) down in New Braunfels this Saturday, and we both are working our butts off trying to polish up our forms. My back seems to have adequately recovered, permitting me to do a semi-decent job of practicing Chil Sung Il Rho, so I'm going ahead with trying to compete with it, and Miranda is valiantly trying to get a handle on Pyang Ahn Sa Dan. We both have a ways to go, and 4 days to get there. Lots of work to do. Plus Miranda's first communion is Sunday morning, so we have the whole pretty white dress and big brunch with the family on Sunday. My in-laws and sister in-law are coming in over the next few days, plus my niece is making her first communion as well, so we'll be merging with my brother's family and his in-laws as well for mass and brunch. Should be hectic, to say the least. Not much to be done about that.
But practicing forms is under my control, even if (apparently) the actual performance of the forms is not. Chil Sung Il Rho is really frustrating me. I know it well, now, although I have a couple of sticky spots with transitioning between some of the stances. But they're fairly minor, and I'm sure I can sand them down. And my thighs are killing me from the exertion of this form: all the scooping motions and slow transitions while in low stances -- and I'm ALL about low stances -- makes it feel like I've been doing tons of squats and lunges. Owww.
The big problem I'm facing, though, is the pacing of the form. It's supposed to be very measured, slow and steady, relaxed and rejuvenating. And I've managed to slow things down a bit, but ... well, while in my head I'm moving at a snail's pace, apparently in the real world I'm blowing through the form at rocket speed. I'm sure nerves are a big part of it -- I had to perform it last night, in front of Sa Bom Nim and several Dans, and I got a good case of jitters. But still -- I THOUGHT I was going slow. But apparently parts of it should be about FOUR TIMES SLOWER.
And that's a quote.
Ack. I'd probably need to drink a bottle of cough syrup, with a pint of bourbon for a chaser, to slow myself down that much. So the rest of the week is going to be spent trying and trying to get a handle on my nerves so that, come Saturday, I can force myself to just ... breathe .... slowly ... and move ... slowly ... as well.
This should be interesting.
Mood: Good, tired
Now Playing: Patty Griffin, "1000 Kisses"